so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You smell like stripper and shame
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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