Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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