sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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