Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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