so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
