my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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