I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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