if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
