She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
