Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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