you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
