Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
