I'm lost and stupid without you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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