So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
