dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
