I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
