so explain again why im purple
no
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
