Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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