I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
