you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
