WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just sucked dick on a ferry
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
