We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
