She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
