Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
