i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
