u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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