So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
how does that bad decision feel?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
