Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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