He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
