their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
