if only i could text you this smell
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
