All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
