I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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