Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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