I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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