i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
