I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just pynch a tree in the face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
