We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm at about main and main street
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
