I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
