all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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