Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
