You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
