Pants 0. Shit 1.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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