Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
