Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
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I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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