so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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