Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
