Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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