Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
