I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
honey bunches of taint.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
