Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
