It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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