haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
