Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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