Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
