i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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