i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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