We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she peed on how many people?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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