it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
