dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
